E-Mail Devotionals (submitted anonymously)

Again, I was reading one of my e-mailed devotionals. Every day I am challenged with getting to know God better. There are days when I like him so much, I can't explain it. There are days when I love him unconditionally and want to cuddle up and never leave. There are days when I am in awe of him. I took a walk the other day and noticed some of the most beautiful flowers, plants, and trees. There are days when I am so grateful, I want to stand up in my cube and dance to Yolanda Adams' Victory. There are days when I am giddy and can't contain myself. There are days when I've allowed the enemy to steal my joy and can't seem to break free of it. There are days when I am outright mad and pouting like a child. My behavior reflects sinful desires and an "I don’t care attitude." Then there are days when I stumble on something that makes me think or remember, or touches my heart and spirit- God is good like that. In my devotion, I read these words…"Do you simply hope God will answer your needs, or do you see God's generous hand at work in your life? Do you wait with expectancy or do you doubt His provision?" He may seem slow at responding, but He's always right on time. While it would be nice if God owned the same watch as we do, you and I can always count on His perfect timing." Then I feel like I have been foolish.



The last three years have not been easy for me. I've suffered much loss but last year, I told the Lord that I could no longer progress as I had been. I wanted him to control my life. I wanted him to help me make decisions. I wanted him to guide me. I wanted him in my family. I wanted a Godly life and family. I have cried along the way this year, "Lord, change me, fix me, purify me, transform me, help me." I keep going back to the end of last year because he moved mightily but not as I thought he should, but he knows what he is doing- he is God. Don’t we always have it all figured out? God move, but move like this…I have learned some valuable lessons this year about trust, worship, praise, love, peace, rest, Godly counsel, prayer, thanksgiving, blessings, provision, OBEDIENCE, sin and consequences, being sustained, TRUST again and again, and again. I heard someone pray, "Lord move until you've moved me out and you in…" I prayed that prayer too. He is moving and working but am I expecting his generous hand at work in my life? Am I waiting with expectancy for his provision? Or am I doubting because he is not doing it my way? Am I seeking his perfect timing or what I think is perfect? I have to admit that I am not doing as I should. He is my loving father and I spend a great deal of time trying to make it right on my own.



Yes, I want to be all God says that I am and should be but I am no different from anyone else when it comes to having it done my way, in my timing, according to my plan. I know however that God's plan is best. I've seen him work all around me. I know, I know, I know. So what is the problem? If I truly want it done right, it must be God's way! Friends mean well, but rarely when you talk to them do they offer to pray, or even seek Godly counsel. They just jump in with their opinions and responses and before you know it, you've interfered with the Lord's plan and he has to readjust again prior to the blessing. Where is our expectancy of God's greatness in our lives? If we could just remember that he is an on-time God and will move in his perfect timing, what a difference life would be. Lord, move as you should and allow me to wait patiently for your perfect timing. "Lord move until you've moved me out and you in…"